I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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