At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
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I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
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I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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