He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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