I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
