Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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