Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize