we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
