Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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