We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
