all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
