Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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