What did we do last night that was yellow?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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