we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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