You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
