Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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