I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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