Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sorry my hands just texted you
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
