Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize