he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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