i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
