i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
