i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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