And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
