He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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