Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
