he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My ATM looks so different sober.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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