What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
