The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
