I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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