they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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