Please, let me fuck your mom
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
