Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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