so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
