Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
