there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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