I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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