he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
