she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
