so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
