Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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