everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
