i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
