if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
