I met the friendliest cop last night
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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