She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize