You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
