i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
