So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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