When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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