So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
