they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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