i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
smell my finger.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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