The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
