I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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