i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
