I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You are a genius and a whore.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize