I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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