No awkward lesbian experiences without me
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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