My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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