So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
