I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
