I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Are we still banned from the library?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
