Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I lost the right to judge tonight
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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